LOF New Release: Art Moms Are Just Different: Episode 1: Elizabeth

Art Moms Are Just Different: Episode 1: Elizabeth
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Legion Of Filth Erotic Stories NEW RELEASE

Art Moms Are Just Different: Episode 1: Elizabeth by Luca Satana

Art moms are just different, especially when it comes to their favorite creations, and that would be, of course, their sons.

Art Moms Are Just Different: Episode 1: ElizabethWhen I think about my art mom, I just know I can’t be the only one going through this, suffering day and night at the hands and body of an art mom. I’d be curious to know. For now, all I can do is persevere, and maybe in the more sobering moments, enjoy the art.

Excerpt:

I have to say, life is weird.

And so is my art mom Elizabeth.

Take for instance the time she got commissioned to do some performance art in some hip pub in the gentrified part of town, and at the last minute, her partner bailed on her.

“Gale, will you?” my mom said, as she stood in my bedroom doorway.

“I’m still unclear what you want,” I said, after, admittedly, only giving my mom about 30% of my attention, with the rest going to the party members in my online game.

“Gale, please. This is very important!”

“I know…”

“So, please, can you give me your undivided attention for a moment.”

“Um. Yes. Just a second, Mom…” I rolled my eyes to myself, and said into my mic, “Hey, guys, you’re gonna have to count me out of this one. Duty calls. AKA, my mom.”

“Okay, check you later…” “Smell you later…” “Your mom? Seriously?” “Dude, where’s Cyrus going?” “His mom.” “His mom has to take a duty.” “Actually, maybe Gale is right to bail, we’re all gonna die.” “Shut the fuck up, you pussy…”

I finally shut down the game and turned to my mom.

My mom was quite pretty. Very sweet. Very young, at least when you consider my age. She was only 16 when she had me. So she was only like 34-years-old now. And didn’t look it at all. She had blue eyes and dirty blond hair, and a short frame, but a surprisingly good body.

I was quite not pretty. 18-years-old. I had blue eyes and dirty blond hair, and a sort of gaunt build. But I was a little tall. Almost a foot taller than my mom.

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LOF New Release: My Mom Beats Me: Episode 2

My Mom Beats Me: Episode 2
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Legion Of Filth Erotic Stories NEW RELEASE

My Mom Beats Me: Episode 2 by Luca Satana

I don’t mind if my mom beats me. It’s when she really beats me, and I mean really beats me senseless, I really start to lose my mind.

My Mom Beats Me: Episode 2My mom beats me. In pretty much every sense of the word. I know. Weird. She thinks it’s hilarious. It’s sick. And gross. And freaky. And spectacular. But awful, too. And she just laughs and laughs. And I just get beat and beat. In pretty much every sense of the word. I know. Weird.

Excerpt:

Then it happened one day. After school. I was flustered. From school. From general shit. Life. You know.

So, then I see my mom on the couch playing on her tablet. Playing one of her games.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, probably sounding as miserable as I felt.

“Hey, Elvi. What’s up?” my mom said, sounding enthralled, more than likely by the game she was wrapped up in.

“Not much.”

“You sound down.”

“Yeah. General shit.”

“Whose General Shit? Sounds like a right prick.”

“Yeah. He is.” I smiled. I couldn’t help it.

If only we could take all our problems and mash them into one all-encompassing being. Someone we could direct all our anger at. And we could call him General Shit. And he’s a right prick.

“Chess?” my mom suddenly said, smiling, as she held up her tablet.

“Mom, I always beat you,” I said, trying not to smile, since I wasn’t about to expound on the fact that in the whole world, there was only one game I could regularly beat my mom at, and that was chess. Continuing to belabor that point would not be wise. Only further antagonizing my already very antagonizable mom. My very antagonizable highly competitive mom.

“Maybe not this time.” My mom smiled, and rather deviously at that.

“Mom, what could possibly change?” Okay, I wasn’t exactly following my own advice. Abort! Abort!

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LOF New Release: I Don’t Care You Have To Eat Something Mom!: Episode 1

I Don't Care You Have To Eat Something Mom!: Episode 1
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Legion Of Filth Erotic Stories NEW RELEASE

I Don’t Care You Have To Eat Something Mom!: Episode 1 by Luca Satana

“I don’t care! You have to eat something, Mom!” I had to be firm. My mom could be slippery about these things.

I Don't Care You Have To Eat Something Mom!: Episode 1For whatever reason, my mom felt she needed to lose some weight. So that’s what she did. And then some. Eventually, I had to step in. I told her, “I don’t care! You have to eat something, Mom!” So that’s what she did. And then some. More than I could muster. And then some more after that. I truly think it was the best thing for her. Or maybe it was the best thing for me. Truly the best.

Excerpt:

“I don’t care! You have to eat something, Mom!” I said, standing there all-hard, not downstairs, upstairs, in my mind. I had to be firm, again, not downstairs, upstairs. My mom could be slippery about these things. So, I had to stand my ground on this matter. Before she slipped through my hands. Enough was enough!

“Oh, Jules, you’re being so silly…” my mom said, rolling her deep dark eyes. She was really beautiful. Even with her recent considerable weight-loss. I would never say she looked better. Even if, in a way, she did. Somewhat. Regardless, all that weight-loss was unhealthy. Any fool could see that.

“Mom, I mean it!”

“Mommy means it, too. She isn’t hungry.”

“Maybe not. You’ve probably trained your body not to get hungry anymore.”

“That’s silly.”

“Mom, it’s a thing. I read it online.”

“Oh, so it must be true.”

“Mom, in this case, I think it is true. You need to eat something!”

“Mommy’s not hungry.”

I gave her one last glare, then I stormed off into the kitchen. I was going to find something. Anything! For her to eat.

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LOF New Release: My Mom’s Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 2

My Mom's Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 2
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My Mom’s Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 2 by Luca Satana

If you ask me, my mom’s fucked-up time-outs should really be called time-ins. I’m just saying. I’m not trying to be crass. Just accurate.

My Mom's Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 2If you ask me, my mom’s fucked-up time-outs should really be called time-ins. I’m just saying. I’m not trying to be crass. Just accurate. So many things in life are inaccurate. Or, let’s face it, false. Or just lazily handled. So, I would like to get this one thing right. And that is my mom’s fucked-up time-outs should really be called time-ins.

Excerpt:

As you might imagine, after my mom’s first fucked-up time-out, things between us were quite weird.

Take for instance the very next night, when my dad, my mom, and me were watching TV. Well, I guess you could say just my dad was watching TV.

When my dad was home from work, he pretty much ruled the TV. After all, the TV was my dad’s one true love. Far be it for my mom or me to get in the way of something so right and so pure.

Regardless of who was actually watching the TV, the important thing to note was what was actually on, which was, of course, another CSINCIS episode, this one Sarasota, where they were dealing with a gruesome triple murder. My dad was riveted. My mom was appalled, at least whenever she looked up from the magazine she was reading. And I was bored, at least whenever I looked up from my phone.

Be sure to sign up for author alerts on Luca Satana’s author page on Smashwords and get new title updates

However, there was one thing I simply could not ignore about this particular episode, and that was the fact that the powers that be decided to throw a little role Rosanna Arquette’s way, which, to me, was always cause for alarm, since Rosanna Arquette might have the best boobs in Hollywood, at least as far as sheer volume, not so much in boob volume, but as far as the frequency in which she was willing to show them off, which was basically dozens of times throughout the years, which was something I always found to be quite generous on her part – and I salute you for that, Rosanna.

Although, since CSINCIS was network TV, it was highly unlikely Rosanna Arquette was going to get the opportunity to be so generous in this episode, which was, in a way, a good thing, since I rather not be around when my dad was admiring her, well, big and bouncy talents.

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LOF New Release: My Mom’s Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 1

My Mom's Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 1
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Legion Of Filth Erotic Stories NEW RELEASE

My Mom’s Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 1 by Luca Satana

If you ask me, my mom’s fucked-up time-outs should really be called time-ins. I’m just saying. I’m not trying to be crass. Just accurate.

My Mom's Fucked-Up Time-Outs Should Really Be Called Time-Ins: Episode 1If you ask me, my mom’s fucked-up time-outs should really be called time-ins. I’m just saying. I’m not trying to be crass. Just accurate. So many things in life are inaccurate. Or, let’s face it, false. Or just lazily handled. So, I would like to get this one thing right. And that is my mom’s fucked-up time-outs should really be called time-ins.

Excerpt:

Seriously, this time, I really was just minding my own business. At least from where I was sitting. Honest.

I was at one of my mom’s little get togethers at the house, just sitting in the living room, just like everyone else, when my spry little mom suddenly scampered in from the kitchen, already halfway into one of her long and winding anecdotes, this one about going to the supermarket and grabbing the last box of Rice Krispies, as she delivered a Rice Krispies Square to each of us, when she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and glared at me, or, perhaps, at the bulge in my jeans.

A century passed.

Then, thankfully, my mom seemed to recover, and then recover her anecdote, with only the slightest hiccup in her long and winding anecdote.

I could finally breathe easy. At least for the time being. I knew, eventually, I was going to have to answer for my crimes. For the bulge in my jeans.

However, this time, I believed I had the perfect answer. One I was quite certain would work. Mostly because it was the truth. At least from where I was sitting.

Sure enough, no less than a second after the last guest stepped out into the night, and no less than a second after my dad announced he was going to take a shit, my spry little mom suddenly wheeled around to me and crossed her little arms tight enough to strangle herself, not to mention her not-so-little boobs.

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