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Holy Fuck I Think I’m Dating My Cute-As-A-Button Irresistible Little Mom: Date 2 (Part 1) by Luca Satana
My mom needed help learning how to date again. And now, Holy fuck, I think I’m dating my cute-as-a-button irresistible little mom: date 2 (part 1).
After my mom and dad’s divorce, my mom, my cute-as-a-button irresistible little mom, insisted she needed help learning how to date again. Well, obviously, I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant, but before I could ask my mom to elaborate, my wife, as was her habit, volunteered me, of all people, to help my mom. I guffawed, like I’d never guffawed before, thinking the whole thing was some bad joke. Then, I realized, holy fuck, they were not joking. Not at all. I gulped.
My first instinct was to tell them both to kindly fuck off. But, then my Mother Theresa-side shined through, and I told myself, why not. Why couldn’t I help my mom learn how to date again? Sure, I was never an avid dater, even when I was single, but, eh, what the fuck. I could do this. However, it wasn’t long before I was telling myself, holy fuck, I think I’m dating my cute-as-a-button irresistible little mom.
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“Mom?” I said, holding my phone, as I ventured over to my cute-as-a-button irresistible little mom’s house.
“Yes, London? How’s Mommy’s sweet baby and her sweet baby’s big long honey maker?” my mom said, sounding, well, like Cat Woman, basically, only thing missing was the little purr at the end.
“Fine…” I grimaced, already wishing my mom and my wife would have kindly fucked off and not talked me into this second dating lesson, or whatever the fuck you would call it, even if the big long honey maker in my slacks seemed totally down with whatever – the total slut that mother-fucker is – and I mean that quite literally. “So, yeah,” I started to say, but had to pause to clear my throat. “Anyway, I’m on my way over. So, um, please make sure you’re ready.”
“Oh, Mommy’s ready. And you can believe Mommy when she says that. She’s so ready… And she’s especially ready for some fresh honey. Mommy sure hopes her baby has some for her.”
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